The value of not getting to the point (2015)

The author reflects on his realization that casual conversation serves an important social function beyond its surface purpose—food and drink provide comfort that allows people to avoid feeling pressured to constantly fill silence. Through an experience with his daughter, who needed time chatting about trivial topics before discussing something serious, he learns that conversational "warmups" help people build trust and overcome the vulnerability required to discuss sensitive matters. The rituals and conventions of casual socializing exist specifically to create safe environments where people can eventually address what truly matters.