Ask HN: How did you convince family and friends to join your XMPP/Matrix server?

A Hacker News user asks how others convinced family and friends to abandon SMS and mainstream messaging apps for open-source alternatives like XMPP or Matrix, noting that most non-technical users prioritize ease of use and reliability over privacy or decentralization. Respondents suggest positioning self-hosted servers as optional "fallbacks" rather than replacements, adding unique features like higher file limits and custom emojis, and importantly, letting users feel ownership and control rather than imposing the service on them.